memory
solitude
sought
for all
of its pleasure
as the shore
resists the tide
he still stares
at her picture
looking inwards
sought
for all
of its pleasure
as the shore
resists the tide
he still stares
at her picture
looking inwards
posted by Ray G at 1:29 AM
5 Comments:
Whatever the inspiration for this, it's fucking beautiful. Quite possibly your first really really good poem.
very beautiful. please check out my blog.
This is beautiful! I'm impressed by the clarity of the diction, with the simplicity of the rhythms heightened by the shortness of the line and the direct address. There is a lot to be said for clarity of vision, and for a direct, clear address to the listeners, since it can foreground the literariness of the poem quite readily, especially when working in a lyric or a confessional mode.
That said, more ornate, more Asianic styles of poetry can work on their own terms, as long as the technique is as self-disciplined as you have it here.
Thankyou all.
To be honest it just came out like that.. A 'good' accidental poem i guess.
Peace.
Maybe you've got a poetic bone somewhere in the bod. I liked it, too.
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